Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Marching into Tomorrow ...sometime this evening

So I am back already. I have to comment on computers and the Internet or I lose my license. I still don't know the nuances and just tried to start a new blog when I wanted to write another post to this blog.
It is ever easier for the small guy to reach an audience-would that they have something profound... even interesting...dare we ask for humor AND intelligence? The long-suffering audience is now evermore able and motivated to ignore the schizoid dementia of our sex-obsessed but repressed media watchdogs. Here in cyberland we face no censure for letter combinations which are'offensive', though a recent move to get the word chink removed from our vocabulary comes to mind. No more nippy air either. It is pathetic that while we jail people for market decisions we see danger from words such as tit. When Ms Jackson flopped that bad girl out in realtime the prudes had third degree vapors. I believe the fine was about $750,000 which seems to me to be the same revenue the broadcaster would have earned had the boob been a politician. It was, of course, not LYING, so it wouldn't have had the same deleterious effect of the politico's emanations.
Why can't we have some more of that particular exposure and less of the drug/hostages/media circus hoo-haw. The interest in TV would grow, and the suicide rate would fall. Nobody pays any attention to political criminals when they themselves are guilty of the same crimes so nobody really cares unless an areola is visible. The weenies could fret and sputter and generally act like the meatbrains they are and the regular folk could laugh at the numbnuts and go back to gnawing winkles. Get the CGI(cool graphics initiators?) to do this-repeat the episode of the flagrant and wanton hussy-but replace her nipple with a Budweiser logo. WHAT an IDEA. I want money for this.
If you see an ad with Janet Jackson and a titattoo of General Mills I started it and I am getting robbed. Maybe they will stick to round logos. Starbucks could do it and really twist the irony nipple-they altered their logo because...get this... the mermaid had a (gasp) navel. They could advertise ski resorts if they adorn Dolly Parton.
I am having bizarre visions of glowing tattoos-Christmas lights under the skin-or fields of red, green and blue dots, ready to shine with the commercials of 2015-sky cars and rockets-or toilet 'tissue' and 'feminine products'. They could point an arrow at the model's crotch-in her own skin-"Need help down there? Chasing away the good guys? Use Whoopy brand scrubbers for that Fresh Aura you Demand". The music would have to come from a speaker lodged ...never mind.
We would get insulin programs which would light up the region where today's shot should go. No need to carry a flashlight when your nose gleams like Ted Kennedy's on St Patty's Day. Drunks could have sensors installed that would save them and us from their driving. "WARNING ALCOHOL CONTENT APPROACHING SENATORIAL LEVEL DANGER DANGER."
Next we can develop glasses that WE wear that changes people into talking creatures of our own twisted imagination. Tune your mother-in-law's face out and replace her mug with a red river hog's anus-though you'd probably confuse her with James Carville after that. Cartoons, sexy babes, movie stars, wild animals and then no more gaping at the mutant across from you at the terminal. You could even cut down on the psychoactive substances that are wreaking havoc on your chromosomes, not that little Othmar isn't a paragon of humanly stature and comportment.

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